YouTube Videos

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In his TEDx Oslo talk, entitled “Tell me how you feel and I will tell you who you are“, Ole André Solbakken argues that increasing our capacity to be aware of, tolerate, reflect upon, and express our emotions in real time, can make us function in more healthy and adaptive ways.

Recommended Books

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Emotion-Focused Workbook: A Guide to Compassionate Self-Reflection by Bridget Quebodeaux.  “This workbook was developed in response to requests by clients for guidance in processing upsetting events that occur between therapy sessions. In this workbook, you will be given tools for differentiating between the kind of reflection that supports relationship (with self and others) and the kind of reflection that leads to the various symptoms that often bring people into therapy: anxiety, depression, lack of motivation, relationship difficulties etc.”

The Lies We Tell Ourselves: How to Face the Truth, Accept Yourself, and Create a Better Life by Jon Frederickson. “Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you wonder why? Does something seem wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it? In The Lies We Tell Ourselves, psychotherapist Jon Frederickson reveals the ways we fool ourselves and how to get unstuck. Through dozens of stories and examples, he demonstrates that the apparent cause of our problems is almost never the real cause. In addition, he reveals what we really fear and how to face it. In the spirit of Stephen Grosz and Irving Yalom, Frederickson shows how to recognize the lies we tell ourselves and face the truths we have avoided–and stop saying yes when we really mean no. Although we may use falsehoods to escape pain, clinging to our fantasies actually becomes the source of greater suffering. This book shows how to create a better life by letting go of our lies and facing reality. It also demonstrates that therapy is not merely a chat; it is a relationship between two people devoted to facing the deepest truths of our lives so we can be healed.”

Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want by Ronald J. Frederick.  “In LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT, author Ronald J. Frederick, does a brilliant job of describing why people are so afraid of their emotions and how this fear creates a variety of problems in their lives. While the problems are different, the underlying issue is often the same. At the core of their distress is what Dr. Frederick refers to as feelings phobia. Whether it is the experience of love, joy, anger, sadness, or surprise, our inborn ability to be a fully feeling person has been hijacked by fear–and it is fear that is keeping us from a better life.”

Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David.  “Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.”

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions by Christopher Germer and Sharon Salzberg

The Undervalued Self: Restore Your Love/Power Balance, Transform the Inner Voice that Holds You Back and Find Your True Self Worth by Elaine Aron

Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation by Daniel J. Siegel

Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great Again by Jeffrey Young, Janet Klosko and Aaron Beck

Research on Psychodynamic Therapy and ISTDP

Click to open a pdf version of the article.

The Efficacy of Psychodynamic Psychotherapy by Jonathan Shedler. (2010) American Psychologist, Vol. 65, No. 2, 98-109.

Intensive Short-term Dynamic Psychotherapy: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis of Outcome Research by Allan Abbass et al. (2012) Harvard Review of Psychiatry, Vol 20, No. 2, 97-108.

Links to Websites and Free Resources

Information on Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP)

Free Downloadable Self-Help Tools and Mental Health Resources: